#WTFStorytime: 12 Angry Men and The Surprise Boner That Changed My Life

I’ve been asked a few times in author Q&As if there was anything I had on like a sexual bucket list that I’ve always wanted to try but have never done. I always answer “Nope” because I’ve done pretty much everything I’ve wanted – and at one time that was a long list.

Yup. I’m a slut.

But it wasn’t always so. I used to be a good kid (kinda) making it easy to trace my sexual deviance back to a historical event in my development. One that triggered my epic spiral into *oontz oontz oontz*

To do that we go back to 1996 – my junior year of high school. I had a lead role in 12 Angry Men. Naturally, it was adapted for politically correct co-ed public school, so the performance became 12 Angry Jurors. I had the role of Juror #8 (Henry Fonda’s role from the original movie).

If you’ve never seen it, I highly suggest the movie and certainly the stage performance if you can see it. It’s clever and thoughtful writing with a great fucking plot. The entire thing takes place in the deliberation room where a jury is trying to decide the fate of a kid. Initially all of them believe he is guilty… except for my character. My character then spends the duration of the play trying to convince them all this kid is innocent by picking apart facts and removing emotion from the equation. It was such a great fucking story you should take some time to see it.

Anyhow; my character (Juror #8) was at odds with another member of the jury who is absolutely certain the kid is guilty. This results in a lot of back-and-forth heated dialogue. That other juror was played by a female student that I knew pretty well. We had lots of classes together over the years but we weren’t friends outside of school. Pretty girl, kind of curvy, taller than most girls. She was almost 6′ tall so we practically stood eye to eye.

If I recall around midway through the script/movie there’s a physical altercation where my character gets punched. This was changed to a slap for the co-ed school play. Our drama teacher is trying to teach her how to stage slap and she’s practicing on me.

In case you don’t know, there’s a couple ways to stage slap. The method we were trying was a means of positioning your hand in just the right way to cup it so that you when you slap someone you barely make contact but the cupping and position of your hand make a resounding slap sound – so it only SOUNDS like you just got knocked the fuck out.

We had some struggles getting the stage slap to sound right and make it believable. I REALLY wanted to sell this performance because it was my first lead role in anything. So, I told the drama teacher that I wanted her to “just go ahead and slap me!” I thought it would be more believable. She was fine with it and the other students in the play thought it would be awesome (I think they just wanted to see me get slapped) but the drama teacher didn’t like the idea. He was like “you’re gonna get slapped during every rehearsal and then the show runs for a week. You’ll get straight slapped every night for a week.”

Tough, manly 16-year-old-me was like “I can take it.

Heh.

So, he let us try it once to see if I still felt the same way after getting jacked up once.

We run the scene. She’s supposed to slap me right after my character takes a dig at her character.

Guys. She nailed it. She got me right as the words finished leaving my mouth. It was seriously the most naturally-appearing angry response. Acting was on point. She fucking blasted me. Even though I knew it was going to happen she still managed to catch me off guard. She slapped me so hard I spun on my feet and my glasses went flying. I’d been knocked around in fights and been cuffed by my parents before but this girl drilled me to the fucking floor. I was dizzy and saw stars and tracers from that hit.

and then…

That’s when I made the startling discovery: I loved getting my ass beat by women.

Every rehearsal after that was bliss. I couldn’t wait to get slapped in the fucking face. She never let me down, either. Every time we rehearsed she sold it like it was opening night. She’d leave a hand print on my face, a sting that lasted for a while, and a throbbing hard on so intense I’d have to immediately go to my room after rehearsal so I could badger the witness.

It was even more exciting when the play opened… because now I had an audience. For a week straight I felt like they were watching me at my (then) most depraved. It was amazing.

At the end of it all, during the cast party, I realized she’d never hit me again and that was depressing. I sat and counted, and between rehearsals and then the live performances she rocked my world with her wicked swing like 46 times. So many of my friends tried to comfort me because the end of any play where people get close is an emotional time. I’ve cried at almost every cast party after the final performance of the plays I’ve done over the years. In this case, I was just depressed because I’d never again be on the receiving end of one of her swings.

I never really developed any feelings for that girl in school, which is amazing considering how easy it is for teens to start crushing on someone. You’d think I would have wanted to date her or something but that never really crossed my mind. I wasn’t really attracted to her like that. We were just friends from drama class and co-stars in a play.

…although sometimes, when we were chatting in class, in the back of my mind I’d be like:

I’ll tell you what, no one has ever hit me like that first time she blasted me in the face. Ladies over the years have made a valiant effort, but never came close.

Now I’m pushing 40, love BDSM, am a published romance/erotica author, and few things get me riled up like taking a heavy-handed slap to the face.

If you’re out there, lady, you rang my bell and I’ll never forget you.

 

By | 2018-08-10T01:39:05+00:00 August 10th, 2018|The Burn Pile|0 Comments

About the Author:

Derek is a retired Emergency Medical Professional and has been a lover of telling stories his entire life, having made the transition from “filthy liar” to “sexy author” about the same time silver hairs started showing up in his face (and other places.) Aside from being a published author and freelance writer he’s also a gamer, gym rat, snow hater (despite living in Michigan), life liver, stunt double for Hulk, and he considers himself to be aggressively unfancy.

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